Stanford Business Magazine

When was the last time you realized that you and a friend, family member, or colleague had different opinions about an issue you both care about? Okay, now a harder question: When was the last time you discussed these diverging views in a way that left everyone feeling respected and heard, even if you didn’t walk away singing “Kumbaya”? If you’re drawing a blank, you’re hardly alone. Like a lot of us, you’ve probably been avoiding uncomfortable and potentially unproductive conversations about tough topics. Conflict avoidance is a survival strategy, especially in an election year — no one wants coffee breaks or mealtimes to turn into political slugfests. We also fear what might happen if we say the “wrong” thing. Americans say they value open-mindedness. However, recent research by Professor Christian Wheeler and Mohamed Hussein, PhD ’24, finds that we’re quick to jump on people from “our” side who express openness to ideas from the other side. Tiptoeing past discomfort can cause us to dodge important topics or cede the floor to the most strident voices. And if you don’t speak up, you might trade short-term harmony for long-term disappointment. As Professor Margaret Neale, one of several GSB experts I spoke to for our story on negotiation, told me, “If you don’t ask for what you want, how will anybody know what it is you want?” The GSB is not immune to this dynamic. Yet, as my colleague Kevin Cool reports in our cover story “Thinking Allowed," the school has been responding to its students’ and faculty’s craving for more open, honest conversations in the classroom. These efforts are not just about creating a welcoming environment for diverse viewpoints but teaching students how to have the hard conversations they’ll have to lead after graduation. And hopefully, those lessons will spread far beyond their organizations.