As if occupational hazards like mansplaining and “he-peating” weren’t bad enough, women in leadership positions often find it hard to get respect. “Women play an unfair game,” says Alison Fragale, PhD ’04. “But that doesn’t mean they can’t win.” In her new book, Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve, Fragale, a professor at the University of North Carolina’s Kenan-Flagler Business School, translates organizational psychology into practical insights to help women build a reputation for being capable and caring.
1. Update Your Status
“Although it feels like women face a million sources of disadvantage relative to men, they face only two: a lack of power and a lack of status,” Fragale writes. Historically, there has been a greater emphasis on the disparity between male and female power. But according to Fragale, the “power first, status second” mentality has its priorities mixed up. “When we get others to respect our value,” she says, “we have a much easier time getting what we want, including power.”
2 Make ’Em Laugh
People’s perceptions of us are based on two fundamental dimensions: warm-cold and assertive-submissive. The first captures our ability to get along with others; the second is about our ability to get stuff done. The winning combination of these traits: warm and assertive. “If you can signal to others that you’re both capable and caring, then your potential value is beyond reproach,” Fragale says. Humor helps: “There is a strong relationship between humor and status.”
3. Who Tells Your Story?
To elevate your status, it’s essential to share your successes. Self-promotion is useful, Fragale says, but you also need to enlist people who will speak highly of you when you’re not around. She tells the story of a Harvard MBA who worked her butt off at Instagram, only to be seen as a slacker. Meanwhile, a peer who touted his accomplishments was seen as a “rockstar performer.” According to Fragale, your story is only as valuable as the number of people who “hear it, believe it, and repeat it.”
4. Play the Long Game
Fragale suggests letting your long-term priorities and values guide your decisions. “I find that most successful women are very confident and decisive about how they use their status,” she writes, “because they have figured out, one way or another, what they value.” Think ahead — all the way to your retirement party. What are the top three characteristics you’d want people to describe you with? Fragale’s selections: principled, entertaining, and generous.
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